Musings and What-not

I have cried enough tears to fill an ocean, sending myself into the deepest abyss, pondering... Will he be okay when I'm gone? I've spent so much time worrying and stressing about what will happen to him tomorrow that, at times, I have allowed precious moments of my today slip carelessly slip through my hands. Germany has its Autobahn... the road I travel has a beautiful yet mysterious companion that is Autism. My journey has been one of great fascination... and frustration. There have been many twists, turns, bumps, and detours along the way. One moment, I am cruising along at a comfortable speed, letting the wind caress my face, and in a flash, I encounter a pot hole that rattles me to the core.

To say I have learned more than I could have every imagined on this journey would be a gross understatement. It has been 5 years since I received my son's diagnosis, and as I look back over those years, I am awestruck by how amazing this precious boy is. Every time I look into his eyes, I see so much love... unconditional love . At times, this love seemed too overwhelming for me to embrace because I had limiting beliefs that I was unworthy and undeserving of something so pure.

Autism doesn’t have a "look". Down Syndrome, Spinal Bifida, and Cerebral Palsy all have one thing in common. They have a "look". When you encounter a person with one of these different abilities, you can see their uniqueness. However, if you were to encounter a person with autism, you wouldn’t know that there was more to them than what you see, and for some observers, seeing is believing.